Husband and Wife SMS in English

Husband and Wife SMS

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream

That u were sending me
Jewelery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

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A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”
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Judge: why did u shoot Ur wife
instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.
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Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
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What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.
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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
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Husband and Wife SMS in English

wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
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Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Every time!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever
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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in Ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
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A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
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HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
Moral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE….
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Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jump In Fast…………………………….
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Husband and Wife SMS in English

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice”.
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I m feeling happy, do u know why?
B’coz I am so lucky, do u know how?
B’coz God loves me, do u know how?
B’coz he gave me a gift, do u know what?
Its YOU my love.
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Women Marry Men Hoping They Will Change,
Men Marry Women Hoping They Will Not.
Unfortunately It Happens in Contrast &
Ultimately Both of Them Gets Disappointed.
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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me
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I have liked many, but loved few.
Still, no-one has been as sweet as u.
I’d stand and wait in world’s longest queue.
For the pleasure of having a moment with u.
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The Husband is the Head of the Family,
But
Wife is the Neck of the Family,
which
can turn the head any where she wants 
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HuSbaNd n wIfE wEnt 2 pIcNiC,
At pIcNiC sPoT hUsBaNd lOstEd hEr wIfE.
.
.
.
MORAL:
LUCK BY CHANCE.
b¡:=P;-> 

Husband and Wife SMS in English

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On 20th Anniversary husband deep in thought..
Wife: What r u thinking?
Husband: Do u remember when ur dad caught us dating?
Wife’s heart melts, thinks its sweet of him 2 still remember that date
Husband: He pointed his gun at me & said either marry my daughter or go 2 jail for 20 years.
Wife smiles ”Yes”
Husband sighs n says: Ahh!
i would’ve been free today!
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Position of a Husband
Is just like a Split AC…
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor,
He is designed to remain Silent in Indoor.
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Man 1- I Notice that Ur Wife Is Mostly In The Kitchen
Probably She Loves Cooking Many Varieties
Man 2- No! Actually Our Telephone Connection Is In The Kitchen ;->
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A fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl on their husband’s coat from 20 meters away, but they can’t see a pillar from two meters while parking a car..
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Husband and Wife SMS in English

A couple were arguing.
Wife: You don’t like anybody in my family.
Husband: Not true, I like your mother-in-law better than my mother-in-law!

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