Urdu / Hindi Funny SMS

Urdu Funny SMS

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho?
Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie
Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye
Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pas

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Boy 1: Larkion ko "I love you" bolny ki sab se achi jagah konsi hai?
Boy 2: Daata Darbar
Boy 1: Kion ??
.
Boy 2: Kionky wahan larkiyon ne chapal nahi pehni hoti

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Doctor owr Allah ko khabi naraz mat karna
Kionke jab Allah naraz hota hai, tu wo Doctor ke pas bhej daita hai
Owr jab Doctor naraz hota hai, tu wo Allah ke pas bhej daita hai

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Ek admi ne zindagi se tang aa kar kaha
"Es zindagi se tu Mout achi hai"
.
Ek dam farishta aya owr bola ke "mai tumhy lainy ayah on"
.
Admi bola: Lo ab insaan mazak bhi nai kar sakta

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Husband to wife: Did you have any boyfriend before our marriage?
Wife remained silent for some time…
Husband: mai es khamoshi ko kia samjhon??
Wife: Abhy gin ne tu dey..:)

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Larki apni Dadi se: Main school nahi jawongi. Rasty main larkay chairty hain
.
DADI:Bahany mat banawo, mai bhi usi raste se roz bazar jati hon, Mujhe to koi nahi chairta

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Shadi k Dosre Din Baiti apni maa Se: Aaj mairi Unse Larayi Hogayi
.
Maa: Baita Shadi mai Jhagry tu Hotay Rehty hain, koi baat nahi
.
Baiti: Wo tu Theek hai Par Ab Laash ka kia karain?

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Larki ek Baba Jee se: Baba jee mere lie dua Karen ke meri shadi kesi samajdar admi se hojaye
.
Baba Jee: Ghar chali ja baiti, Samajdar admi khabi shadi nahi karta

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Girl: Doctor sahib mairy boyfriend ko andar bhula lejeye
.
Doctor: Trust me mai shareef admi ho….
.
Girl: Nahi Doctor Sahib, apki nurse bahir akeli hai, owr maira boyfriend shareef nahi hai

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Doctor: Bachy ko pani dainy se pahle ubaal lia karain
.
Sardar: Wo tu teekh hai lekin Ubaalny se Bacha mar tu nahi jayega??

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Dada or dadi ne,apni jawani ke dino ko phir se yad kar ke manane ka socha,
.
unho ney faisla kia ke hum phir drya kinare milangay,
.
dada suba jaldi uth kar tyar ho ke, gulab le kar drya kinare pohncha, boht dair ho gayi dadi nahi ayi,wo ghusse me ghar aya, or phool phainkty howe bola, tum ayi kion nhi?
.
Dadi sharmaty howe boli:
.
Ammi ne jane nai diya

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Malik: Abhi tak tujh se machar nahi maray? Mairy kaano'n mai gunguna rahay hain
.
Nokar: Sahib! Mai ne machar mar deye hain, yai tu unki bewiyan hai jo bewa ho kar ro rahi hain

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Girl to Shopkeeper: Koi esa "Valentine Card" hai, jis par lekha hon "mai sirf owr sirf tum se pyar karti hon" ?
.
Shopkeeper: Haan hai
.
Girl: Acha 7 cards dena

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Wife: Mairy khayal mai hamari baiti ko kesi se pyar hogia hai
Husband: Tumhe kaisy pata chala?
.
Wife: Kionky wo kuch dino se Easy Load ke lie paisy nahi mang rahi

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1 Film ky Poster par kesi PEER ke Urrs ka Poster lag gia
.
Poster Phat gia owr likhayi mix ho gayi
.
1 Ticket mai 2 mazay
Langar ky baad zabardast Dance hoga
Maulana Sultan Rahi ke full action ke sath
Khwateen ke lie pardy ka khas intezaam hai
Reema owr Saima ke dil-fareeb raqs mai shareek ho kar
Sawab-e-darain hasil karain

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Shadi ki raat Husband confuse hogia
Ke bewi se kia bolon!!
.
Akhir wo bola
.
Aap ke ghar walon ko maloom hai,
Ke ap yahan mairy sath ho??

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A man knew about the affair of her wife with a boy
He decided to kill himself and his wife
Apny kaan par pistol lagayi tu uski bewi hansny lagi tu wo bola
"Tu khush mat ho, agla number taira hai"

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1 bacha khait main aalu nikalny mai dada ki help kar raha tha
.
.
boht thak gia tu bola:
"aap ne yai sab zameen main dabaye he kion thay?"

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Husband: Apke sath shadi karky mujhe Ek fayeda tu howa
Wife: Khush ho kar boli, Konsa fayeda?
.
Husband: Mujhe mairy gunaho'n ki saza dunia mai hi mel gayi

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Sardar ki Bewi: Raat kafi hogayi par Sardar Jee nahi aye, zaroor kesi larki ka chakar hai
.
Sardar ki Maa: Hamesha bura hi sochna, kai pata kesi truck ke neche agia ho

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Teacher: Bijli kahan se ati hai??
Student: Mairy mamo ke ghar se
Teacher: Wo kaisy?
Student: Jab bhi bijli jati hai, mairy papa kahty hain, "Saalon ne phir bijli band kardi"

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Mareez: Doctor sahib mujhy door ka nazar nahi ata !
Doctor: Asman par dekho, wo kia hai??
.
Mareez: Chand
Doctor: abhe es se agay kia farishty dekhega??

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Height of Doubt
Shouhar: Mai tumhary sath 100 sal rahonga owr pyar karonga
.
Bewi: Usky baad kahan mun marny ka irada hai??

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Devdas of 2011

Abbu Ne Kaha "Night Package" Chor do
Maa Ne kaha "Facebook" Chor do
Doston Ne kaha mobile se balance churana chor do
Paro Ne kaha tum fail hogaye ho mujhe chor do
.
Owr
.
Ek din ayega jab girlfriend ky bachy bolenge
Mamo ab tu hamari Ammi ka peecha chor do

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Wife (Kitchen se): A jee suntay ho? Aaj kal mai boht khubsurat ho rahi hon..
.
Husband: Tumhe kaise pata chala??
.
Wife: Aaj kal mairi khubsurati daikh kar rotiyan bhi jal rahi hain.

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Question: Shadi ke waqt dulhay ko gorhay par kion bethaya jata hai??
.
Answer: Last warning di jati hai, ke abhi bhi waqt hai bhaag ja

Baap ne baity se kaha: 'daikho yai aaj tumhari teacher ki taraf se mujhy 1 letter mila hai......"

Baita:"aap bay-fikar rahain, main ammi ko nahi bataon ga :)

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Teacher: Your Son is intelligent But Spends a lot of Time Thinking About Girls

Mother: If You Find a Solution, Please Advise me, His Father has the Same Problem

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Funny but Meaningful

Teacher: Beta Tumhary Abbu kia karty hain??
Bacha: Jo Ammi kahti hain

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Ek admi ne dozak mai shetan se kaha
"kia mai apke mobile se apni bewi ko call karsakta hon?"
Call karne ke baad admi bola: Call ke kitny paise don?
Shetan bola:No charge, because hell to hell is free