Naughty Text SMS in English

Naughty Text SMS

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.

Height Of Bad Luck. . .
I Just Wanted To KISS
a CHARMING,
INTELLIGENT
&
MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON On This Earth
But
My Lips
Can’t Touch My Cheeks

Do u know what is GIRL?
G-Ghost
I-In
R-Real
L-Life
So avoid girls & fwd their nos to me.Don’t worry about me.I’m a professional
in ghost handling……..

CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game.
To play,throw your phone against the wall.
Then assemble the pieces….

U R 100% beautiful,
U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,
U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words…

Life Without Girls
The result
Markets silent
Streets empty
The police at rest
All mobile companies in loss
No SMS
No Flowers
No Valentine
No Candles
No Perfumes
All the men directed to Heaven

A pathan want to commit suicide,
When asked: Why are you crying?
Pathan said: My wife ran with my Best Friend
& i can”t live without my friend.

From the moment I saw u
I wanted to be inside u
I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels
the way u tighten and loosen NEW SHOES..

I want you,
to be with me in a nice Restaurant
to have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
.
.
.
“Pay The Bill”

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
Multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

He took me from a bar,
He took me in his car,
He took my top off,
He puts his lips on mine,
but don”t worry,
“I”m a bottle of wine!”

Nike has announced

production of its latest
model of shoes.
It is heavier than normal
and has design especially
suitable for throwing at President.

Today is International Handsome Boys
and Beautiful Girls day!
So send this message to someone
who looks smart and cute…
Be true.. Don’t cheat like me

Girl: how many times you do shave in a day.?
Boy: 30 to 40 times.
Girl: are you mad.?
Boy: no I am hairstylist.

What is 143 ?
I love u..
No..
I hate u..
No..
I miss u..
No..
I wish u..
NO..
143 means
ONE HUNDRED & FORTY THREE.
Concentrate on Maths,
And not on Romance:)

There have been many time in 2008
when I may disturbed you
troubled u
irritated u
bugged u
.
.
.
today I just wanna tell you
.
.
.
I plan to continue it in New year.

Friends I am collecting Gandhi’s photos.
Please give your contribution to my collection.
A small condition is, It must be on
100, 500 or 1000 rupees note only.

Evolution of Man:
Without Marriage “Spider Man”
On Marriage Day “Super Man”
After Marriage “Gentle Man”
If wife is beautiful then rest of life
.
.
.
.
“Watch Man”

Man asked to his wife:
Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
She said: Some where I have never been!
Man said: How about the kitchen?

THE
TWO
DANGEROUS
WEAPONS
IN
THE
WORLD
MORE
POWERFUL
THAN
NUCLEAR
BOMBS
1. A Girl’s Smile.
2. A Girl’s Tears.

Things in boys room!
Before Marriage:
Perfumes
Love Letters
Gifts
Friendship Cards
After Marriage:
Pain Killers
Loan Papers
Unpaid Bills
List for Shopping
Happy Unmarried Life

Never ask for hug,
Just take it.
Never ask do you love me,
Just say I love you.
Never say I can’t live without you,
Just say I live for you.
You have been trained.
Now go and flirt

Wife: I am the book of your life.
Husband: Yes exactly you are right.
If you were a calendar of my life,
then once a year I’ll change it.

If you like my sms,
It means I’m smart.
If you save,
means you agree I’m smart.
If you forward my sms,
means you spread that I’m smart.
If you delete my sms,
means you are jealous because
I’m smart.

Some times when I Cry,
No one see my tears.
When I am worried,
No one see my pain.
When I am happy,
No one see my smile.
But
When a girl come close to me,
Then every one see that.

Naughty SMS

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Clouds r white but the sky is blue
monkey like u should b kept in the zoo
don’t get angry you’ll find me there too
not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha!

“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!

A lady calls Electrician for repairing door bell.
Electrician doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Electrician replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

Father to son:
If You don’t pass your Exams this time
Don’t call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father:How is your result?
Son:Sorry Saab.

Very important health tips for 2009
don’t eat
burgers,
pizzas,
chat,
ice cream,
&
chocolate,
Without
ME!

WARNING!
Cell phone emit dangerous radiations which causes brain cancer..!!
But..
How lucky u r…..!
“No Brain”
“No Tension”

Friendship
Is
A
Sea
&
Friends r fishes.
u r my golden fish.
i will keep u safe.
if u try to go away 4rm me
i will Fry u

PLEASE DO DIS SMALL PRAYER B4R ENTERING OFFICE
Dear God, I beg u!
Give me the wisdom
to understand my boss.
Give me the Love to forgive him.
Give me the patience to understand his deeds.
But Dearest God,
don’t give me the Power
because if u give me the Power
I’ll BREAK HIS HEAD…

If a paper comes very tough in exam.
Just close your eyes for a moment.
Take a deep breath and say loudly.
.
.
.
This is a very interesting subject,
I want to study it again.

Hi, How are you…?
Are you free tomorrow..?
Can you come to me..?
Because tomorrow we are opening new
.
.
.
.
.
Mental Hospital
admission free, special offer for you.

Teacher asked to a boy.
What’s the difference between
young age and old age..?
Boy: In young age there are
girls phone numbers in mobile
and in old age there are doctors numbers.

Old phrase:
A bird in hand is better
than to in bush.
New phrase:
A boot on bush is
better than two in foot